Myself

We Just Want to be Liked

unnamed“We need one another. There’s no reason to judge. People are more fragile than you could possibly imagine.”

– Jamie Tworkowski If You Feel Too Much

Last night I got dinner with two young men that I hadn’t spent quality time with in over a year. The last time I had hung out with either of them individually, neither was allowed to legally drink. Now the three of us sat around a table drinking beer and eating sliders. (OK, I had cider, but the cashier called it a beer when he handed it to me. SO. Counts.)

Anxiety became a topic of conversation between us, and the words coming from one of them echoed what I had been processing lately. Anxious thoughts, flashbacks, triggering moments… they need to exist in what they are. Pushing down the anxiety and trying to control it will make it worse.  Continue reading “We Just Want to be Liked”

Myself

23 Things I Learned at 23

10325790_10152635194017345_6923522118976578692_n“Nobody likes you when you’re 23” is what you’ll probably hear 6 or 7 times on your 23rd birthday. Thanks Blink-182 for these lyrics that will haunt all 23 year olds.

But there’s more to that: “And you still act like you’re in freshman year.” … which is a completely accurate description of how 23 has been for me.

Today’s the end of that. I’m glad 2014 is over. I’m glad that tomorrow I’ll be 24. It’s been a rough year. But I’ve accomplished a lot! I’ve graduated college, gotten a full-time job with benefits, went to a stuttering convention (what even!), had 7 cavities filled and a broken filling replaced all within a few hours… but I’ve made a lot of personal changes too. More than anything, I’ve learned that I have no idea how to handle things in a healthy and effective way. I’m starting to.

Here are 23 things I learned this year. Enjoy.
(PS: The pictures look best through Chrome Browser haha) Continue reading “23 Things I Learned at 23”

Christianity, Myself

When Evil Prevails

All this being said: there IS good, and friends are part of that.
All this being said: there IS good, and for me – my friends are part of that.

It’s easier to write about struggles after they have happened. We look back and the lessons God was trying to teach us seem obvious (although I wonder if perhaps we are wrong about those sometimes.)

When you’re in the middle of horrible situations… how do you write? How can you speak? When someone asks you, “How’s stuff with God?” and you just shrug?  Continue reading “When Evil Prevails”

Myself

Summer of Stuttering

IMG_8660Hey guys.

It’s been awhile. I wish I could say it was because I had so much to do this summer, that I filled every second with fun activities or work… and part of it was that, of course. Just check out the super cool picture with this blog taken somewhere along the Northern California coast during a road trip! But truthfully, I just don’t know what to say. Not knowing what to say is incredibly difficult for me. Lately, a big topic on my mind is “Who am I?” and “What qualities about me are consistent?”

This summer my relationship with God was messy. It was nothing like the spiritual growth I experienced last summer. This summer I did not look forward to returning to school. Last summer I struggled with it too, but I ended up looking forward to it by the end. Whereas this year, my anxiety was up the wall. Continue reading “Summer of Stuttering”