If you know the reference, then you can probably picture the scene in Fight Club. If you don’t, then I won’t spoil it for you. But here’s the painfully simple gist: the main character has not known who he is and is learning that.
This is a sentence that I hear myself whisper to my friends when they aren’t listening. This is a very strange time in my life. Even friends that I have had for six or seven years – my life has been such a journey.
At twenty-two years old, I learn new things about myself more than ever. As my friends gain boldness in their conversations, it gives me the blessing of knowing truth.
There’s a person, under my mummy wraps, inside of me. It’s me. But like Fight Club, it’s also not (WATCH THAT MOVIE!). She breathes and moves and speaks… she’s sold out for God. I really like her. We get along sometimes. She’s me. She’s the me that God created. But I bury her in my sin. I tie wraps around myself and allow these wraps to become my identity. If I see myself as simply a hollow version of who I am supposed to be, then I will live that way.
These wraps look different for everyone but we all have them. My wraps consist of insecurities and selfishness. It comes down the fact that I am sitting there tying wraps around my arms instead of living the life that Jesus has for the woman who is me.
Jesus wasn’t tied in wraps. I’m not sure how Scripturally accurate this is, but I always had a mental image of Jesus being cloaked like a mummy in the tomb. Those were our wraps. But when He rose, He left them all behind. No longer was he bound by the wraps. Those wraps meant death. Now He was free.
So are we. When we tie ourselves in these wraps, we are hiding the glory of Christ. We live in a world of people tied up in these wraps. Even the faces that smile the biggest, even the financial gurus on top of the world, even the saints of peace and love…. if they aren’t covered in wraps now, then they have been.
So stop beating yourself up over a few lousy wraps. What are we doing? I want to stop being afraid of the woman God has inside of me. It’s me. We have to stop saying it this way. “I will become a women of Christ,” “I will become a man of Christ,” because you already are! That IS your identity. We need to say this: “I am learning to expose the woman of Christ that God has made me,” or ” I am learning to reveal the man of Christ that God has already made me.”
Last September or so, my friend Corey sent me a song called “Just For A Moment Forget Who You Are” by The Rocket Summer. If you don’t know the song, check it out. The Rocket Summer is the solo-project of Bryce Avary, who is a Christian. I suggest you listen to it on your own first because some of the lines are super powerful to hear in the song. But if not… here’s the part of the song that hit me:
You were made in an image of greatness…
Just for a moment start to forget about the scars and forget who you think you are. Don’t say another word. You’re meant for greatness.
It’s been my mantra lately. When I start to fall into a routine of who I “am”–or when I start to focus on my wraps as my definition of who I am–I remind myself… just for today, forget who I think I am. Forget my past, forget what makes me “me” by default.
And just live.
And to me, that has meant to live as God has set out for me. I don’t need to over-analyze it. God will lead me in my walk as I try to stay faithful. No day will be perfect. Some days will be the opposite of perfect. But I am not limited by my wraps. I am not limited by who I think I am.
You are not limited by any definition of ‘you’ that the world has come up with or that you have come up with.
What are some wraps that you cover yourself with?