Grace = An Escape From Yourself

Here’s the cool thing about grace:

It teaches.

I do not think anyone has taught me that. Grace teaches you a lot. More than just humility. To live in grace will give you a life of fullness and when you live in fullness, you learn a lot.

Happy Easter, by the way.

My favorite song, at least line of a song, to think about on Easter is in Relient K’s “Be My Escape”. It says “The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair”. I’m not sure if it is the line that strikes me or the song in general.

The first time I heard Be My Escape, I was probably 13. My friend was having me burn her CDs and it was playing as I imported it onto my computer. I thought my friend was the biggest dweeb, so I did not think much of the music. I later heard it when my first boyfriend, when I was 14, had me put the songs into the computer. This song was their most popular. When I heard it, I did not know it was about Jesus. That’s key to this song. They never say “God” or “Jesus” or “Holy Father we adore, mighty and precious”.

Then I got to know God. And I listened to this song more. And it hit me that this song was about God. It seems silly to me now that I never thought that for at least a year. But to me, a guy could “be my escape”, right?

But he cannot. That’s a truth I learned. But God was different.

It is a song that the more I grow in my Christian faith, the more this song hits me with different things I never thought about. Some examples are as followed:

“And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key”

That’s a cool imagery for a teenage girl. My whole life was doubt and insecurity. The idea that Jesus could free me of that was huge to me. I could not believe it.

“I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake”

I did not choose to be here. I want out of my own choices. This was a big one early on for me to change my ways. To give up what I worked on because I was digging myself in a rut. I have the imagery of Animal Crossing for GameCube/Wii. You can fill into a pitfall and get stuck.

Later on, this line. “Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake”

This one struck me during a time that I felt numb and like I just was going to keep going. And it hit me that it is a scary place to be.

Last year I was walking back to my apartment at school and the song played on my iPod. The very end. Honestly this part is better to listen to than write the lyrics but alas, this is a blog. The entire last stanza

“I fought You for so long/I should have let You in/Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin/But so were You…/So were You”

I feel that way sometimes. God, I am just trying to HELP myself. I am trying to make these choices because I think it will help me. It was as if the writer was trying to give God his excuse. I was just trying to save myself, ok God?? And then an afterthought occurs. … but so were You. That’s why You died. That’s why You rose from the dead. That is why You guide my life and give me “rules” to follow. Because YOU are trying to save MY own skin. And it hits him like a ton of bricks. Just an “Oh. Right” to end the song.

When I was in Africa, I was sitting with one of the guys letting him listen to this song for the first time. Relient K is not one of the popular Christian bands that made its way to Nigeria. We had been talking about DTS as a Dying To Self thing. That Christ reigns when we die to who we are. And this line overwhelms me…. after listening to the song countless times. I have seriously probably listened to this song a couple hundred times. I love it. Every Easter I tweet “the beauty of grace is that it makes life unfair”. Then I heard with brand new ears.

“Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me”

I never thought much about that “death of me” part. I guess I thought he saw it in a bad way. Like his sacrifice to God. Or I never paid much attention to that line and thought of it as if he didn’t change, he would die from good. I’m not sure. But I realized. It is a praise. I think I always sang “but that might be the death of me” as opposed to “and“. There is nothing negative here. It will be the death of me. The death of my doubt, insecurities and past. The death of my mistakes. The death of my shame, humiliation and sins. The death of my old way of life. It was placed on a cross of death with a perfect Man, the Son of God, and died that day. Then purity rose up from the grave and we get to celebrate in that.

And that is grace. I would not be surprised if this time next year, I have learned more from this song. But I think it is a guiding example that shows the stages of my walk with God. I love these Relient K songs, despite what some people say about them. They are so raw in their songs to God. They are men who felt shame and are no longer ashamed to write about it.

Do you have a song or a band that sums up a lot of your Christian walk? Or has taught you things about God? I hope so. This one was mine.


2 thoughts on “Grace = An Escape From Yourself

  1. I really enjoy Relient K as well… Be My Escape is probably one of my favorites.
    Probably one of my Christian walk songs is probably JJ Heller’s Your Hands. God has used it to speak to me in a number of rough times.
    Great post!

    • Thanks for that! I keep hearing about JJ Heller but I haven’t gone out of my way to listen to it, despite loving every song I have heard. So I am going to go get some of that music since I am thinking about it :).


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