Today I picked at a scab until it bleed. I was at a home I have never been to and perhaps it was a nervous habit… but I was picking at a scab on the back of my foot. I’m not entirely sure how it got there, but I picked at it nonetheless. As is typical, it started to bleed again and I had to readjust my foot so I wouldn’t get it on her couch and trying to get blood off my hand (Gross).
On the drive home I started thinking ‘Why in the heck did I do that?? I mean I’m old enough to know what would happen. I knew it would bleed’. Which is true. I have learned that yes, it will bleed if I pick at it enough. But it was so easy to just pick at.
I do this emotionally too. With the past. God has healed me from the past and it’s just a scab now. But if I pick it enough, I can rip it back open. That’s what happens whenever I dwell on the past too much. Or entertain the thoughts of jealously and a desire to be with someone that frankly – I don’t like. But I pick at it! I dwell in the past. I realize that jealously is coming up when I see him flirt with a girl and instead of pushing it away and focusing on a friend or on God – I entertain this jealously. I try to pick at why I’m jealous and what in the past it reminds me of. Even though that somewhere in me, I KNOW that I am just going to make it bleed again if I keep doing it.
(Picture from this blog was taken Road Trip 2009, where I ate it – TWICE and used up the entire medical kit. Just sayin’).
Physical or emotional, don’t pick at your scabs. God will heal them. And sometimes it isn’t just time. Sometimes He needs to really rework you and change things inside of you – but from there it is time. You are healed. A scab is healed. But you CAN make it bleed again.
Just because you’re healed for now doesn’t mean you can’t reopen an old wound.
Tell me your battle scar story! (Physically is what I mean but emotionally would work too)