I made plans for tonight. I was going to get dinner at with some girl friends. I was really excited to see them so when one of them goes to the church to get a guy to come along and drive, I was annoyed.
I felt like she had tricked us because she offered to drive. Moreso actually, because I had recently complained to this friend that she spends so much time with him and doesn’t spend time with us. They aren’t dating or anything; they just spend a LOT of time together. So I wasn’t thrilled, at the least.
THEN (I thought) he decided that he didn’t “like” where we wanted to go because it wasn’t good enough for him, basically. Because he had scoffed when I said we were going there. This made me even more angry because I often feel like I’m poor around him. He drops money like it’s no biggie and has (not meanly at ALL) teased me about being frugal and cheap (I really am). I had already eaten so I wasn’t hungry, but I was still hurt. I brought to surface any negative feelings I had and let them loose.
The thing was – he had never been mean to be about me being cheap. He had been kind and considerate throughout of friendship and only teased me if I got obsessive (which I did).
So what do I do? I take all my anger out on him. I seriously do. I tell him he’s a jerk for ruining our “girl time” and I get more angry when he doesn’t back down and just seems to walk all over us. I just make fun of him a lot.
But everyone was in on a little secret.
So we drive for like a half hour. I’m used to this because this guy, Corey “fancypants” always eats in random San Diego locations – I didn’t even think twice. I was just bitter. I just wanted to eat and get back. We got off on a weird exit but I was distracted by the Mormon Temple and made jokes about it. Then we park in some weird hotel parking- I’m just thanking God that I’m not hungry and I don’t have to pay. I make that known… because I’m a jerk. I rub it into his face that I think he’s a rich snob.
Then we walk out of the hotel and around a corner. And there we are.
At Melting Pot.
Where I had been begging Corey to take me for months.
I immediately hugged him and apologized. A lot. There was no way I could take back what I had said but I really wanted to.
I’m sure you have been in my shoes, to some extent. At the very least in your relationship with God. You make plans and those plans start changing. So you get really angry that your plans are changing. You get angry at God or someone else. And you get so caught up in being snarky and mean that you don’t realize where God is taking you in life.
But guess what? GOD HAS BIGGER PLANS.
The Melting Pot wasn’t even on a list of things I thought I’d be doing anytime soon. I wanted to go to Teri Cafe so that I could snack on something when my friends ate. I wasn’t even so angry that Teri Cafe wasn’t where we were going – I was just mad that Corey had messed up my plans. I WANTED THAT and he was making me do something I didn’t have planned.
And God’s plans are bigger than the Melting Pot, haha. They are. (Unless you are a guy I used to date- who now works at Melting Pot. Then maybe that is God’s plan for you). We make our little plans and to do lists and God is just rolling His eyes.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
So when you don’t get to go to South Africa or get accepted to work with Jr Highers – don’t get mad at God. He has bigger plans – WAY bigger plans that we can dream of. He isn’t out to hurt us, just like I knew that Corey wasn’t just a jerk. But I tried to make out that he was because it was what it looked like. But God doesn’t always tell us the details. Sometimes He surprises us, just like Corey shocked me tonight.
And I ate. I became hungry and I ate.
And it was delicious.
A lot better than my own plans.
And Corey paid.
Because he has always been a good friend to me and I had forgotten.
In the same way that God has ALWAYS been a perfect and good God to me. And maybe one of these days, I’ll know His plans for me ARE good.
And that it is ok if not everything goes according to plan.