How Do I Live Without Your Word?

I think it’s #letsbehonest time…

I have not opened my Bible for non-school related matters in ages. Oh, sometimes I use my Bible app, but nothing is the same as the Word, the Text, the Letters. I still pray often, but I feel like I’ve been using God as my internal compass. Which isn’t bad, except that’s all I’ve used Him as for weeks now. Sometimes I praise Him, sometimes I worship Him, sometimes I ask Him for help in people’s lives… but mostly I say “left or right God? Give me direction. Whatever You want. You choose”.

So what’s the problem?

The problem is how the HECK am I going to know what He wants if I am not taking the time to learn? What is going on in my heart? I adore reading books and God wrote me this big fatty book all about Him and His glory and I don’t have *time* for it? I should be up all night, reading each word, letting it tug at my heart, wondering what happens next. I should be sitting in the living room at 3am not to play wii or to read a different book or to blog, but to be reading my Bible. ATM, I’m pretty sure my Bible is in my car, which is on West Campus, so that’s difficult. But I do have my phone, plus I have my weird translations I had to buy at school.

Usually when I drive that hour and a half to or from school, I have no-music time for some of it and pray or talk or scream with/at God… sometimes I’m just silent. I did not do this either way this time. I feel like I’m avoiding Him, but I’m not TRYING to.

The problem I am having is not a lack of prayer time or even a lack of desire. It is honestly a lack of reading His word and striving to do things that actually take up my TIME. Me with my selfish sense of time.

Lord, overtake my heart. Help You become my All in All and help my desires be Yours. Give me the effort and energy it takes to read Your Holy Text. I take having so many copies of it for granted.

If you don’t like reading, have someone read it to you – that was how the Bible was intended anyway. I think of the book “A Walk To Remember” (not the movie, ew. In the movie he just read 1 Cor 13)… she didn’t have the effort to read it on her own so much, so he read it to her. And maybe when we do read the Word, we can think of it as God reading His scriptures into our hearts…. because we only get them as far as our own, thick, heads.

Bible Verse That Relates: So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17 (NKJV)

Dear readers – how often do you read your Bible?

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