About a year ago, I met with my pastor to talk about my past, kinda. It was pretty recent at the time and we had talked about this person and my mistakes before. And while he made it very clear that it was very much my fault too, something else he said stuck in my head.
“Jaymie, if I were your dad, I would punch him” (or something to that nature).
It… it shocked me actually. The more I thought about it later on, after realizing how important my purity is, the more I realized that God is my Dad that sits on the front porch with a gun in His hand to scare men that will not respect me away. The thing is, I never knew that someone wanted to protect me or defend me.
Perhaps in books I had read that God wants us to stay pure and that He loves us… but without anyone in my life that stands up and defends me in those times (without a father), I didn’t quiet understand it until my pastor said that.
See, the thing about God is that He is my father. He’s my best friend. He knows how easily I break. He knows how easily I hurt. He knows that even a kiss is giving away a piece of my heart. Heck, even just emotions can be that for me. And He does not want me hurt. He has someone for me out there that totally does respect my purity and respects his own purity (or at least will, if God has not prepared this part of him yet).
Like a dad that watches his daughter cry over a breakup and becomes angry because his precious daughter is hurting… THAT’S GOD! He is angry at the sin, angry at the disrespect. And unlike a flawed human, He still passionately loves the one that hurt me and wants to help him too (what a bizarre concept!). Not to say that I did not hurt myself or the other person involved, because yeah, I did. I did not respect myself or the other person.
But there’s something precious about being a daughter. There’s something there that’s so fragile, so gentle, that my Father would die to protect me (actually, He already did).
I just had that awesome revelation. You are SO COOL, God. That was so exciting to realize. I felt teary-eyed realizing that. :’)
PS: Picture is REALLY old :]… at least two years. An early “Delaine Downie Photography” moment <3
But, back to homework. School is busy. But somehow, I’m still … precious! What a CONCEPT! :D