Where Is God?

And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.

– Philippians 3:15b, NIV

526123_10150806564552345_2146827565_nI was a teenager l when I was led to this particular verse in a part of the bible that I had never read. The whole story is probably in an old journal, but I was in a place of doubting God worked in a personal way with me. While I saw Them* work this way in the life of a friend, I doubted that They would use me. At that thought, another thought entered my head: “Philippians 3.”

What? No. I avoided Philippians for a reason. I had never read chapter 3.

“Philippians 3.”

I don’t feel like standing up and walking to the kitchen, where my bible was.

“Philippians 3.”

FINE. I marched to the dining room table and flipped open my bible to Philippians 3.Read More »


So you step back & ask

 "Can't she save me?

  Can't he save me?"

The gods yell NO

And you scream YES

And the fire overwhelms.

     It's a sacrifice

You're the sacrifice 

   "And no one can

      save you now"

mutters the gods to you, but also to themselves.

If fire burns brightly &

   then you turn to dust

won't you shine for me

won't your fire

      catch me too?

Can you light my life

    I'll take the risk

          We disappear

Won't you be here?

   Won't you be near?

Can you stand in between

   me & my fear?

can you catch me 

        off guard

can i catch you when

      you fall

Let's take the plunge

   And maybe we'll find


And maybe you'll find 


And perhaps this world,

 this life, will mean something

   to us after all

A Simple Praise for God’s Teaching

IMG_0704My views on God over the years have shifted, changed, grown, expanded, froze, and so much more. While I rarely doubt an actual existence, I question damn near anything else. A near God or a far God, a forgiving God or a just God, a God who allows His people to grow by steps, or one who expects us to follow what He taught in Biblical days? (All of these topics and more would could make separate blog posts, but that isn’t what I’m doing tonight.)Read More »

When You Still Love People Who Did Terrible Things to You

IMG_1278Frequently as I can manage, I stand with my toes in the wet sand and stare out at the Pacific Ocean. The amount of revelations I have had while standing on some San Diego County beach is endless. I spend all my time inside my own head: thinking, wondering, processing.

I remember once as a kid, boogie boarding with my family. My boogie board flipped over and for too long, I couldn’t get on the other side. I was stuck underneath the board. When I finally was able to push the board out of my way (after being sure of my death), my mom and brother were a few feet away, laughing and playing. It was the first time I understood the ocean as a terrible force. I still loved it, but it terrified me.

Something being terrifying and horrible does not stop love.Read More »